Tonight, My Feet Hurt

 

Tonight, my feet hurt.

But my heart hurts more.

And a lot of things rush through my mind

 

I wish you knew that I’d love to take photos of us together

How I’d want to squeeze your hand, when you squeeze mine.

How I always feel warm when I lean on your shoulder

How I’d love to run with you, and laugh, and make people stare

 

I wish you knew how just walking beside you gives me chills

How looking at you makes my heart skip a beat, always.

How just sitting beside you makes me believe in love again.

 

And I wish you knew how badly I want you in my life

But tonight, my feet hurt.

And my heart hurts more. 

 

Deciphering Why

 

 

It could be that I love you for you make me feel

Like I have waited forever for you

Or maybe I love you because you came when I wasn’t expecting

And just like that, you stole my heart away.

 

Or it could be that I love you for the way you make me smile,

And the way you make me laugh, like I have not done so in years.

Or it could be that I love you for the times you make me sad,

For the times you make me cry, that I would feel my heart breaking,

Then you’d smile, and just like that, you’d easily make it whole.

 

Or it could be that I love you for the way you act so silly

The way you dance like a crazy man, coz you are a crazy man

Or that I love you for the way you sing songs with me, or hum your crazy tunes

And just like that, you’d make me laugh so hard I thought I’d die.

 

Or that I love you for the way your eyes stare at me

Or for the way you hold me close, whispering that you would not want to let go.

Maybe I love you for what we have now, whatever this is;

And then I know, maybe, just maybe, I am loving you a li’l bit more.

 

 

Of Questions and Waiting

 

Sometimes, I’d like to ask you tons of questions. 

But I have decided to stop, not just because i know you wont give me answers 

but because, I know the answers, to begin with; and it scares the crap out of me. 

 

So I will just stay still, and wait. Wait til you figure things out, 

til you make up you mind, til you decide to do something about it. 

As for me, I will wait.I will wait is stillness, in patience and in love. 

Not because I am hoping that this will turn out great for the both of us

But I am hoping that this will turn out to be what God wants it to be. 

And I keep you in my prayers every night, 

and in little moments…just like now. 

 

 

And no. I wasn’t expecting anything.

But you were there. You came up and said “Hi.”

And we talked, you know, the usual short conversations.

But just so you know, it made me smile.

❤

Enigma

So it went totally out of my control. It was that spur of the moment when I didn’t use my head. It just went like so, as if it’s something I caged for ages. Or maybe my heart was already so in rage that it knocked my brain off. 

 

Because I saw you today.

I saw you today. I didn’t even have the guts to walk to you, to smile and say hello.

For the longest time, I have fought whatever this is that I have for you. I have kept it and asked myself to stop because no matter how I wrap my mind around it, I can never find a way to make it work. I have been, for the longest time, afraid to offer this to God –to offer you to the Lord, because I am afraid that He will not grant my plea. But I believe I need to offer you to the Lord this time because I love the Lord more than I love you. And I am hoping that in loving Him, He’d allow me to love you in the best way I can, in accordance to His plans.

❤

Hello hello.

First entry. I really don’t have anything to say yet. 😐